In this gloomy city, dawn always brings a layer of mist, which makes people feel a little breathless. Lin Rushi stood in front of the window, her eyes fell on the blurred street in the distance. That street was not unfamiliar to her. It, like her life, carried too many memories and regrets. The memory of that love has not been dissipated from her heart until now, as if it was like that gray sky. No matter how hard she tried, she could never get rid of the haze.
She felt that she was not suitable for this world since she was a child. She had a cold heart under her gentle appearance. Her heart was like a lamp in this city, dim and lonely, but she had been watching silently for herself. She remembered that she had said to herself many years ago: “I don’t need love, nor do I need others’ care.” She was still young at that time, and her eyes flashed with disdain for life and determination to desire freedom.
However, life is so ironic. On that sunny afternoon, she met Li Xiuyuan, a gentle man. His eyes were clear and deep, as if he could see through the loneliness and confusion in her deepest heart. He did not pursue her with a fiery gaze like other men, but walked into her life gently like a warm existence that was just right. She thought at the time that this might be the love she needed, a kind of existence that was not hot but gentle enough.
They had never had a grand encounter like in the movies, nor did they have too many romantic vows. Their love was like a blooming white rose, inconspicuous but gently exuding fragrance. Li Xiuyuan was not as passionate as she expected. His love was like a breeze in late autumn, quietly brushing her face, with warmth but not much words.
Lin Rushi did not resist such love, but found the long-lost tranquility in Li Xiuyuan’s company. She began to believe that love might not have to burn like a raging fire, nor be as dramatic as the romantic stories in the movies. Ordinary and plain might be the longest happiness.
However, all her fantasies came to an abrupt end on a winter night. That night, Li Xiuyuan told her that he was about to marry another woman. That woman was the wife his mother chose for him. She was a gentle woman with a prominent family background. Perhaps she was Li Xiuyuan’s ideal partner for life. And what about her? She was just a passer-by in his life. Although warm, she could not integrate into his future after all.
Lin Rushi smiled, a little weakly. She did not cry or make a fuss. She just looked at Li Xiuyuan quietly, but her heart was filled with complex emotions like a tide. She did not ask him why, nor did she blame him. She knew that nothing in this world is eternal, and love is just the meeting of two hearts at a certain moment. And that moment, once passed, will never come back.
There began to be a deep void in her heart, as if she had lost something important, but she could not find it. She began to feel that she was just one of the countless passers-by in her life, coming and going in a hurry, leaving no trace. Those things that she once thought she could rely on eventually dissipated in the wind of time like passing clouds and smoke.
However, life did not give her too much time to be sad. When she decided to let go of Li Xiuyuan, she found that she had changed. She was no longer the girl who used to be indifferent to love. Instead, she began to yearn to be understood and cared for. What she wanted was not a passionate love, but someone who could give her support when she was tired.
At this time, she met Wang Yixi, a man who was not particularly outstanding but extremely down-to-earth. Wang Yixi’s appearance was not as romantic as Li Xiuyuan, but more like a stable existence. He would not impress her with gorgeous words, nor would he make promises to her when she was most vulnerable. But Wang Yixi had a sincere heart. He never cared whether she was perfect or not, and even tolerated all her shortcomings with great tolerance.
With Wang Yixi’s company, Lin Rushi’s life gradually became stable. Although she still could not completely forget the image of Li Xiuyuan, she learned to face this past in another way. She knew that she had never really walked out of that love, but she also understood that she and Li Xiuyuan had missed each other after all, and that time in the past could never be returned.
However, life is always full of helplessness. When she gradually adapted to the ordinary days with Wang Yixi, she received a message from Li Xiuyuan again. He told her that his marriage was not as good as he expected, and he lived in endless emptiness and depression. But he still remembered Lin Rushi, the warm woman.
Lin Rushi’s heart seemed to be gently touched by something. She did not make a decision immediately, but thought quietly for a long time. She knew that she was no longer the girl who longed for love, and the appearance of Wang Yixi made her understand another ordinary but warm life. She once missed Li Xiuyuan, and now, she still didn’t want to let herself be entangled by the images of the past.
She did not reply to Li Xiuyuan’s message, but picked up the book in her hand again and continued to live an ordinary life. She realized that life is like countless unfinished melodies. Maybe you can’t predict the ending of each one, but the important thing is that in each melody, you can find your own rhythm.
The city is still noisy, and the night spreads on the streets as usual. Lin Rushi sits quietly in front of the window, watching the lights outside gradually go out, and her heart finally calms down. She knows that what is missed is missed after all; and those people and things that once existed will eventually become a part of her life, but the warmth will no longer linger.